BEAUTY AS A WHOLE

When you are in love, the world seems different. You live in the same polluted area and wait for the 5 a.m. bus, in the dark, under a chilly rain. You didn't sleep all night, because you had a long Skype chat, with your new romantic interest across the city. While everyone around you is randomly struck by an asthma attack, the air around you seems to have a different consistency, luminosity, and temperature. And not only that but with each breath you take you gain power and with every breath, you exhale, you feel like you pour life back into the world. Your eyes shine, you irradiate light and when you get on the bus, the driver exclaims: "You are looking so good today! Did you do something to your hair?" And you feel sexy, irresistible and that nothing can stop you... Because you have a date this weekend and now you get an idea about how winning the jackpot may feel. Everything changed since you met this person. You are even considered for a promotion and that means $0.25 more per hour! Well, you're not Rockefeller yet, but still... When... Tee-ta-da-da-beep-ba-blink... Your grandmother calls, she's happy that you are happy and doing well, but she also reminds you to stay grounded and remember what had happened the other three times you've been in love. Her reality check also makes you feel that the bus is not heated enough and all of a sudden, you start to cough. And when a colleague of yours also gets on the bus, she greets you with: "You look tired today. Didn't you take a good sleep last night or are you coming down with a cold?" On your lunch break, instead of making the romantic Skype call that you promised, you keep busy playing Candy Crush and get pissed off. You cannot pass the level. In the evening you answer your Skype but pretend you are too tired to chat and too overburdened by sudden and important obligations. You keep it like that until Friday, when you find out that someone else got the promotion. Then, definitely, romantic Skype conversations cannot be on your mind, anymore. Saturday, though, you have doubts and you make several attempts to see if the date is still on. You leave message after message, mentioning how upset you are for not getting the promotion, how sorry you feel for not being able to chat and clarify things, earlier in the week, and that you'd be awake and waiting, at least until 2 a.m. But you get no reply. So, on Sunday, you are meeting grandma for brunch and her grocery shopping. You are sleepy, still coughing. still grounded, single at 30 and on minimum wage... If only you could win the lottery... How do other people get to be so lucky? And life goes on, from a failure to another, in love, in career, and in your bank account.

So where do you go wrong? When you feel good and keep winning, or when you listen to opinions and fail miserably? Provided that you are a mentally sane, sober, law-abiding and overall healthy adult, why do you need other people's opinions? It's like poking holes in your own umbrella. Your emotions are your best counsel. And the best indicator that you are on the right track is that you're feeling good. Start paying attention. Observe yourself and observe your life. Notice that, when you feel good, your quality of life improves, because your outer world always mirrors your inner one. When faced with choices, stay focused on your bare emotions, disregard everything that you've learned and you think you should do and answer yourself only these simple questions:
  • Am I under pressure to do this or not?
  • Do I need it or I just want it?
  • Do I feel like it or I don't feel like it?
  • Will it make me feel good or it won't?
We call it "freedom of choice", for a reason. Demand your freedom and time to make a choice, on your own terms. Go for what you need, what you feel like doing and what makes you happy. As much as others would like to convince you of the opposite, everyone's ultimate goal in life is to be and stay happy. The only way we are different from each other is what makes us happy and really feel fulfilled. And when people who find happiness in similar things get to meet, miracles start to happen.

If emotion and not what you think is the best reality check and nature itself gives you hints that you are unstoppable, omnipotent and irresistible, what should you do? Stay that way. Don't you enjoy feeling good and being happy? Don't you feel, in those moments, that you can reach the stars? Tap into that feeling. That gives you the power to build the life you envision and the image you want to project onto others: glamorous, capable, and carefree. People's opinions should be an echo of you being you at full potential and not permission slips. When it comes to being yourself, leave aside guilt, obligations, and everything that feels like being imposed on you. Impositions always come from people who failed and cannot even make peace with their lack of fulfillment. Enlighten them but don't pick up their tab. Nature showed you that you are better than that. You have the potential to reach the stars. Why settle for the light bulb in the ceiling?